Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i will never coherently bang her
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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