Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
