Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
