I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
they're like a gay fantastic four
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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