Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
