the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Randomize
