someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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