what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
