Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
