next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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