so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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