My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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