I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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