Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
she peed on how many people?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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