I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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