just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
