Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
