Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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