I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
