I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
