your thong is hanging out like whoa
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
third nipple confirmed
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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