After last night, I could never be a politician.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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