wat bout pragnant strippers??
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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