Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
i think i just lost a toe
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
