It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
