apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
