doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
