we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
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