i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
