When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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