Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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