I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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