yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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