im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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