Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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