My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
