Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
