Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
