Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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