yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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