We're like a lot better than the average bears
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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