Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
They have beer where we have blood.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
