Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
