Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
