just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
