She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
