wat bout pragnant strippers??
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Randomize
