Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
