If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
my liver is dry heaving
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
