i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
