I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
