why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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