Do vagina's smell?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
