I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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