Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
